Polygamy (and Jacob Zuma)

This is the letter I recently sent to Debra Patta of the programme, 3rd Degree, on eTV. Her topic, which I'm commenting on was polygamy. I felt that she was missing the point altogether. In fact I have never heard Debra having such a stupid point on an argument before that show...

" Debra

There is nothing wrong with polygamy. There is a lot wrong with some people who practise it. I strongly disagree with you when you say it "is wrong".

What is wrong is any man mistreating his wife or wives, irrespective of how many he has. We cannot narrow mistreatment of women to polygamy because of "valueless" individuals who cheat on their wives. As much as we would say the same of people who are in monogamous marriages we should shy away from labelling polygamy as wrong.

In monogamous marriages there are also men who "control" their wives; there are who cheat on their wives; they are many women who are not happy; there are children who are unhappy, etc.

You keep referring to cultures which have evolved and this by implication says that you are expecting the same thing of polygamy and THAT is wrong of you. It is the people who practise a certain culture who decide that changes should be effected in a cultural practice not observers like you. Therefore whether polygamy is "outdated" or not is not for people who do not practise it to conclude.

Lastly, president Jacob Zuma is not and should not be the deciding factor when it comes to polygamy because of his behaviour. In fact there are thousands (if not millions) of men out there who are in monogamous marriages who "behave" just like our president. The argument should be his behaviour therefore (as a public figure) and not the type of marriage he is in. We do not, for example, here the public or media complaining about Tiger Woods' monogamous marriage but him cheating on his wife. The latter should be the case with "JZ" - that's if we really should be talking about him and not his administration.

Thank you. "

Thokozani M
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!